The first hometown date this week was with Hannah Ann in Knoxville, Tenn. For their date, Hannah took Peter axe throwing to prove to her father that Peter was “tough.” 

I can always depend on “The Bachelor” to serve me all the gender stereotypes. 

Midway through the date we saw Peter and Hannah Ann just making out in front of a giant group of people. I give them props for this because it would make me very uncomfortable. 

After this date, they went to meet Hannah Ann’s family. Her mom started crying the minute they walked through the door. At this point, I feel like an emotionless human. 

Does everyone cry this often? Am I missing something? Or is the amount of tears getting a little ridiculous? 

So Hannah’s dad — believe Hannah called him “Ranger Rick”—pulled Peter aside and basically asked him to compare his relationship with Hannah Ann to the other relationships. 

Peter dodged the question by telling him how much he loves Hannah Ann. 

It was then that Ranger Rick asked Peter not to say the “L word” to Hannah Ann unless he really meant it. I took that as, “Don’t say it unless she’s the last one standing,” but apparently Peter did not understand Ranger Rick. 

He said it to Hannah about thirty seconds later. She reciprocated the feelings and that was the end of the date. 

Next, we traveled to Des Moines, Iowa to see Kelsey’s hometown. For the date, she took Peter to a winery and they stomped grapes. 

This was a fun idea, but I could not focus on anything they were saying because all I could think about was their dirty feet getting all over those grapes — which, sidebar, were not even wine grapes — they were just regular table grapes. 

I believe after this they made some kind of wine blend together, but I am not sure. I was still just thinking about those poor, dirty, wasted grapes. 

One thing I did notice, though: Kelsey told Peter she loved him and he did not say it back. After saying it to two other girls, this is a very bad sign for the relationship. 

Then they went to meet Kelsey’s family. Why was her family so shocked when they walked in? They had an entire camera crew hanging out in their house. They had to know what was happening. 

The only thing I really got out of this portion of the date was that Kelsey’s mom and sisters look exactly like her. Plus some more crying. Really? Am I doing something wrong here?

The next date was with Madison in Auburn, Alabama. Madison took Peter to her alma mater and they played basketball. Madison’s apparently great at basketball, but sports dates bore me so I did not really pay a whole lot of attention. 

Madison’s family gave me some weird vibes. They had a “special plate tradition” where one person had a special plate and everyone would compliment the person with the special plate. 

This seemed sweet, but also made me a little uncomfortable. 

Then Madison’s dad called her “pure,” which was when the weird vibe meter started beeping in my head. It is one thing to call your daughter “kind” or “caring,” but “pure?” 

If my father ever referred to me as “pure,” I think I would disown him. That is so weird. 

Madison’s mom asked her if she had spoken to Peter about “certain life choices she has made.” This is when we learn that Madison is saving herself for marriage. 

This seems like an important thing to tell Peter before the fantasy suites next week, but Peter left without knowing this information. 

The final date this week is in Virginia Beach, Virginia with Victoria. They went to a Hunter Hayes concert where he is singing his song “I Want Crazy.” Yes, Peter. We know. 

After the date, a woman confronts Peter. We learned this woman is Peter’s ex-girlfriend. She basically tells Peter she knows Victoria, that she is not a good person and he should be careful with her. 

For some reason, Peter did not press her for more information and left the conversation at that. He brought this to Victoria’s attention and asked her about it. 

When he did this, Victoria got very defensive and somehow turned it on him. She cannot have an adult conversation with him and gets up and walks away. I have never seen a bigger example of gaslighting in my life. 

Because of this fight, Peter decides to leave without meeting Victoria’s family. It seemed like this was a final goodbye, but the next morning, Victoria came to Peter’s hotel room. 

He ended up apologizing to her during this time and we did not get any answers about the allegations. 

Everyone went back to Los Angeles for the rose ceremony, which was held in an airplane hangar. We get it. Peter’s a pilot. 

Hannah Ann and Madison were the first two to get roses, which was pretty obvious. So this left Kelsey and Victoria. 

I know Peter does not love Kelsey, but how could he keep Victoria after the manipulation and breakdowns she has put him through? He kept her anyway. Does he really not see her flaws?  

Kelsey is sent home, which was not a surprise to me. I would be so mad if I were her watching this episode and getting sent home before Victoria. 

After the rose ceremony, Madison pulled Peter aside, which I assume is to tell him she is a virgin, but then the cameras cut and we were left with “To be continued…” 

Next week is the fantasy suite week. We are in for a whole lot more drama so hold onto your pants, folks.

Nelson can be reached at [email protected].