In November, I was reunited with a friend I hadn’t seen since summer at an airport on Thanksgiving Day. There were people everywhere, but we didn’t care – we screamed, cried, ran to each other and hugged for a solid minute. We were so excited to see each other and had no problem displaying affection in a public place.

The same could not be said for a male friend of mine, who was reunited with his best friend since childhood the very next day. They greeted each other with a calm “What’s up?” and shook hands. Not even a hug.

In short, hugging has somehow become the antithesis of manly. I’m not talking about “bro hugs” – the half handshake, half one-armed hug you exchange to seem cool – I’m talking about full on, two armed hugs that show just how much you care about your “bro.”

Was it always this uncool for men to be affectionate with their friends? In “Picturing Men: A Century of Male Relationships in Everyday American Photography,” John Ibson explores how males hugging went from being acceptable to practically taboo.

Photos from the late 1800s showed men (soldiers, farmers and all in between) not only hugging, but also holding hands.

From the mid-1950s and onward, Ibson found intimacy between men faded into next to nothing. Pictures of sports teams in dog piles transformed into men lined up in rows around a football. Best friends smoking cigars, holding hands, became best friends stoically standing beside each other.

Ibson believes that homophobia is largely to blame for this lack of intimacy between male friends. In this way, men are afraid of being perceived as gay and refrain from showing intimacy with other men, especially in public. This makes me deeply, deeply sad.

I have personally found an abundance of joy in expressing my affection for my female friends. Running and taking my friend in my arms in the middle of an airport is one of my favorite memories of her. I have taken long naps on the shoulders of female friends on exhausting cross-country bus rides without fear. I post cheesy captions on Instagram about how my lifelong girlfriends are my soulmates without fear of any labels.

Why must men be robbed of this joy? Why must it be frowned upon for a man to hug his male friend after getting the big raise, or to take a nap on another’s shoulder?

I wish this wasn’t the case, but unfortunately this is the societal climate we live in. To make a change, it will take a few brave men who aren’t afraid to “bro out” and show the world how much they love their pals. At one time in history, we lived in a world where men were free to be affectionate. I believe we can, and should, return to that time.