Have you ever worked so hard for something, and when it’s over, you’re not sure what to exactly do next?

That’s me right now. Earlier this week, I turned in the last thing I needed to do to the Center for International Education. Now, I feel like I’m not doing anything, because I’m not running around trying to get medication, my passport, or even paying some sort of fee somewhere.

What? How can I be done with everything before I leave? I worked way too hard to just have nothing left to do.

Maybe I’m being irrational, but seriously, think about it. It’s kind of like working on a huge, semester-long project, and once everything’s done, there’s a sense of, ‘now what?’

All I can do now is to simply wait until May 31, and panic. Of course, I’m going to panic a lot before I fly out of Chicago in May. I don’t think I’ve convinced myself even in the slightest that I’m ready to go to another country.

Sure, there’s been little landmarks that have been significant enough to remind me that I’m going to another country. I have my travel itinerary and passport ready to go, so nothing’s stopping me. But it just seems like it’s something that, in the last possible minute, isn’t going to happen. All of the running around I’ve been doing will go toward nothing.

I’m probably in denial to go abroad. Stepping out of my comfort zone is tough, like I assume it is for many people. There’s so much I have left to do before I go though, like homework assignments, reading a book and even getting caught up on the Nicaraguan culture.

Hopefully, these things will replace my fear for going abroad into curiosity and excitement. If I’m lucky, it’ll at least distract me from my constant worrying, and before I’ll know it, I’ll have no choice but to board the plane that’s taking me to a new country.