Everyone loves to hate the best.

Walmart is the number one retail corporation in the world, and with that territory comes haters.

Walmart offers the lowest prices of any major retail establishment. You can get a T-shirt for $7 and a Blu-ray movie for $5. Those prices are almost criminally low (and in response, President-elect Donald Trump is considering pressing charges on the retail establishment).

People from all walks of life shop at Walmart. Everyone from college professors looking to score some cheap kicks, to parents looking to feed their children knock-off brand soda shop at Walmart daily.

Sure, you may find some questionable looking adults in pajamas and elderly people with the look of Satan on their faces roaming the store at all hours of the night, but hey, that just comes with the territory.

Most retail chains close around 10 p.m. or 11 p.m. when people commonly go to bed. Not Walmart.

Need a random CD at 3 a.m.? Walmart is there for you. Need a discount pair of swim trunks in early February? Walmart is there for you. Need a $2 shirt at 4 a.m. because you threw up on the one you were wearing earlier at the bar? Well, you might have to walk around the opposite side of the store because they are cleaning the floor and only have one lane open, but Walmart is still there for you.

Some may say a store such as Target is better than Walmart because it is “classier” or “doesn’t sell weird knock-off products.” To that I say, you are stretching the truth. At the end of the day Target is just a higher-priced Walmart.

So, after you’re done reading this, head on over to Walmart and take advantage of their low prices and even lower standards. Along the way, flip your nose up to Target, because you know that their shoppers are just jealous of your $12 unisex sneakers.

— Parker Reed, Sports Editor

The other day my best friend asked me to go to Target. I grabbed my purse and keys so fast that I felt a breeze. A few years ago, a different friend asked me to go to Walmart and now we aren’t friends anymore.

Coincidence? Probably not.

Target is pretty much the Holy Grail of inexpensive trinkets you don’t need but buy anyway. What is Walmart the Holy Grail of? Gray plastic bags?

The only time I would make the heartbreaking decision to go to Walmart is when I’ve searched Target far and wide and still failed to find what I was looking for. That would never happen though, because Target has everything that I’m looking for. (If they don’t, then I probably don’t need it that badly.)

I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve walked into Target looking for a box of cheetos and accidentally wound up browsing the home decor aisle for an hour. Meanwhile, spending more than ten minutes in Walmart is just tragic.

The only thing better than accidentally spending two hours wandering around Target is doing it with a handcrafted Starbucks drink you can purchase upon entering the store. Once you start drinking vanilla lattes while mindlessly staring at sweaters you have no intention of buying, there’s no turning back.

When it comes down to it, Target totally hits the bullseye.

— Emilee Wentland, Staff Writer