On campus

A healthy union is only achieved when two people are together as much as possible and share a close connection. That can be said for romantic relationships, and it is perfectly normal to extend that metaphor to a college student and their university campus.

Living on campus while in college is much better than living off campus for a variety of reasons, and it all starts with simply getting to class.

When you live in a dorm, you can get to class in about five to 10 minutes. You share the experience with your classmates, and if you fall on ice and break your nose on the hill, there are medical facilities nearby.

If you live off campus, you have to walk extended periods of time in the pouring rain and snow to get to a class you dreaded having to wake up for.

And if you have a car, don’t even get me started. Finding a good parking spot on a college campus is like asking someone to find a completely level-headed and tolerant person at a Donald Trump rally.

After the day has ended, you have to go home and deal with the individuals that manage your living environment. You always hear horror stories about terrible landlords making you live in human sludge, all while increasing your utilities fees because you, “turned up the heat a quarter of a degree for two minutes.”

Living in a dorm is one flat rate every year. No month to month grind. That equates to less stress, and a more comfortable living situation.

If you live off campus and aren’t hearing what I’m saying, it’s probably due to the people living above you are still cranking that G-Eazy song you hate on a Sunday afternoon for some God-forsaken reason and everyone you live with is too passive aggressive to ask them to shut up.

So when you finally see the light, feel free to move into the dorms. Applications are available online, and you will finally get some sleep for once.

— Parker Reed, Sports Editor

Off campus

Nothing quite compares to living in your own place — even if you must sign away your rights to sue for asbestos poisoning, lead paint and the bats that call your walls home — the joy of living free and on your own is well worth the risk.

While on campus housing has its perks, like being close to campus and holding zero responsibility to cook for yourself, the freedom that you can find and the lessons you learn living off campus are life-altering.

As much as I enjoy having roommates, I would prefer not to share a mere 200 square feet with them. There is absolutely no room for activities in a dorm room and little to no chance you won’t want to kill your roommate from time to time. Save your roommate; get your own room.

If you play your cards right off campus, you may have to deal with a leaky faucet or two and an astonishing amount of wood paneling, but you’ll get to enjoy a room all to yourself where your Netflix preferences take priority.

“But what about the resident assistants; won’t we miss them? Don’t we need them?!”

Of course not. Your neighbors will always be there to keep you in line: Knocking on your door and telling you to quiet down or sending you passive aggressive text messages. It is the best of both worlds.

Most important, however, is learning how to deal with landlords, bills and being a neighbor. Your driveway isn’t going to shovel itself, but your neighbor might for a case of beer. Your bills aren’t going to pay themselves, but an eviction warning can really spice up your busy week.

All this adult knows is that as a species, we are made to evolve. We cannot become true adults if we move out of our parents house and remain in the dorms. The dorms are for children; we are mediocre adults.

We must live on our own to learn what being an adult is, and let me tell you, it is quite the trip.

— Chief Copy Editor, Anne Sandell