Anyone who knows me knows my life is notoriously in shambles.

My reflexes are terrible, it seems like I forget an important task every time someone mentions One Direction or cheese curds and my chair from Spanish 301 two years ago now has a permanent coffee stain from the number of times I knocked over my to-go mug. I’m not afraid to own up to my procrastination, poor time management and utter lack of motor control.

Up until now, I’ve been fairly content to live in the eye of this perpetual whirlwind of forgotten to-do’s and spilled hot chocolate mix, but I’m a junior in college. It’s time to get it together.

My first week of class went about the way it always does: I remembered everything up until day three, when I realized, that in the three whole days I had spent trying to be less of a procrastinator, I had forgotten to read part one of “1984,” which was a homework assignment. We had an hour and a half of class discussion about it. It was riveting.

Fortunately, I know that many college students are suffering from the same problems I am. We, as a collective, were forcibly pushed out of our parent’s nest into the cold, cruel world of broken printers and weight gain.

How can we be expected to remember the homework due in Spanish 352, to wash our hair and to eat vegetables? I can barely cook anything other than grilled cheese; how the heck do you prepare brussel sprouts?

It is for these reasons I am going to take one for the team this semester. Every week I will try a new method of pulling myself together in some way, shape or form, and I will let you, the reader, know how well it works.

By the end of spring 2017, you, the wider world of the internet and I will know whether meal prep is actually as convenient as Pinterest makes it seem, whether waking up at ungodly hours of the morning helps with productivity and whether doing homework the day it’s assigned is as good as it’s cracked up to be.

I have never done any of these things but am willing to sacrifice my time and energy in an attempt to help this community at large, and college students everywhere. Together, we will discover the optimal way to become the responsible people we’ve always dreamed of being.

Catch me next week as I schedule every single hour of every day. Free time will be scheduled. Eating will be scheduled. Peeing will be scheduled.

Does it work? Is this the week I turn myself around for good? We’ll find out. It’s a desperate world out there folks; stay on top of it.