“My favorite pair of jeans has finally blown a hole in the knee! I’m so excited to throw them out, clear my plans for the day, and head to the mall to shop for a new pair of jeans!” Said no one ever.

Shopping for a pair of jeans was so simple when I was younger. I grabbed my size and bee-lined for the checkout register. But somewhere along the line it got so much more complicated.

Last weekend I went to the Mall of America with a friend in search of a new pair of jeans. And that is when my rage reached new heights.

I’ve had trouble finding the perfect pair of jeans in the past, but never quite like this. This was a denim nightmare.

I went to nine different stores and probably tried on thousands of different pairs. Skinny jeans, flare jeans, boyfriend fit, low rise, bell-bottom, high waisted, cropped  — even the dreaded slim fit  —  and still nothing was working.

And don’t even get me started on the sizing situation. I feel like every store I walk into I have a different jean size. There’s waist sizing, which is 24 through 32, and then there’s U.S. sizing, which is double zero through 14. And that doesn’t even include length. It’s a lot to take in.

And it’s not just the denim, it’s everything that comes along with trying on denim. It’s the pinching of skin, the horrific dressing room lighting and the exhausting dance you have to do every time you’re trying to get the jeans over your bum.

It’s all extremely disheartening because of my love for denim. If I could I would be walking around in a Canadian tuxedo (an outfit consisting of a denim jacket paired with denim jeans) every single day of my life. I’m not exaggerating. I’m completely here for Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake’s full denim outfits at the 2001 American Music Awards.

Everyone loves a good fresh pair of denim jeans. Some might even say it’s the epitome of the American Dream.

In a frantic attempt to save this horrible experience of shopping endless hours for denim, I brought out the big guns and made my way to the Levi’s store. I usually wouldn’t walk into Levi’s so casually, especially because I don’t like to spend more than $50 on a pair of jeans, but I had reached my breaking point.

After all, Levi’s is the creator of blue jeans. According to their website, they’ve been making jeans since 1873. Levi’s literally invented blue jeans. So, I think they have a pretty good grip on what great denim entails.

Unfortunately, still nothing. My spirit was broken. Maybe the perfect pair of blue jeans just isn’t in the cards for me.

With that being said, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m going to live in leggings for the rest of my life.