The phrase, “If it’s meant to be, it will happen”, or anything similar, is the concept of fate — a predestined future people do not have control over. We rely on fate so heavily in our everyday lives that it’s often forgotten that the way humans react to any number of situations is the basis of who we are as individuals.

Perhaps the word fate is simply for our comfort, overcoming a lack of initiative. Whether it’s feeling overwhelmed in our everyday lives or disappointed after coming up with the wrong answer or doing the wrong thing.

I know a lot of peers come to college with or without plan.

I speak with confidence nonetheless when I say everyone has a dream of who or what they want to be. As children the world is at our feet, but as we grow older the education system does not talk about princesses, superheroes, ranchers or culinary chefs. We are fit into a tiny box where it is decided for us that making money is the real objective and only scientists, mathematicians, teachers, politicians and so on succeed.

I think we tend to forget that even though our dreams are far fetched, they are not impossible.

Perhaps it is your dream to make a scientific discovery, teach, solve an impossible equation, or simply work to provide for a family one day.

I am not discriminating, simply trying to illuminate those lifestyles that aren’t viewed as the typical career. That don’t make the most money. When it comes to traveling the world, starting up an art shop or even becoming a waitress to make enough money so you can publish that first book you wrote a year ago, we think of it as hopeless scenario. It just will not work. That it’s up to fate to choose for you — to decide if you will or won’t make it in the world.

This ideology is so misconceived.

Ambition is the same throughout. It’s just your thought process that needs amending. If you say to yourself, “This is just too hard,” or “Maybe one day it will work out, but only as a hobby.”

When you say these things you are only putting yourself down. We need more words of encouragement — more stories told by you; stories of success, because you didn’t give up. Making mistakes by saying the wrong thing or not succeeding at first is not an excuse but rather used as motive.

We make our own paths. The only fate this universe has to offer is the way you handle these everyday difficulties. You cannot control your situation, your reaction however is completely under your discretion. Your free will to say, “Yes!” or “No, I’m not capable.”

Even for the smallest of everyday lifestyle choices; fate isn’t all about how you will end up. It pertains to intimidating aspects of life such as a breakup, telling someone how you truly feel, pleasing your parents, who you are friends with; in addition to so much more.

We only have one life and I promise you that my gravestone will not say, “completed all tasks on time and in an orderly fashion,” or “paid taxes every year and not a day late.”

Instead it will reflect how I spent my life, both in my early twenties and late eighties. My grandchildren and friends around me were affected in the same way. There was a light, so strongly lit inside of me, not even the heaviest of rains could put it out.

Rather, I let these rains wipe away all worries and foes. I didn’t tiptoe around people, instead had them join in the rhythmic beating of my drum, adding in their own melodies to create a thing of untamable beauty.

This is what life is about. Living in the moment, because these moments become memories. It’s better to have spoken out and followed your heart then regretting a decision you were too afraid to make.

Fleming can be reached at [email protected].