(Disclaimer: This article is satire and is not meant to be taken seriously. It does not reflect the views of The Spectator or UW-Eau Claire.)

College courses and programs try their best to prepare students for their future careers. However, the UW-Eau Claire accounting department seems to be taking that goal seriously. 

The accounting department recently announced that every accounting classroom and lecture hall in Schneider Hall will be replaced with cubicle offices meant to replicate a real accounting firm.

“An accountant is going to spend the rest of their life in a cubicle, so it is a great idea to get the students well prepared for that,” Holden Tudiks, an accounting professor, said. 

The main push behind this new plan came from a 300-level accounting class that acted as an experiment for the accounting department. Professor Tudiks taught this class. 

“We were able to have a cubicle office classroom built on the second floor of Scheider for my accounting class to try out this semester,” Tudiks said. “Learning was very realistic and it definitely changed some students’ views on their major, for better and for worse,” Tudiks said.

Opinions among students in the class were mostly positive, and this allowed the university to push for the funding of the new classrooms.

Brad Shipley, a third-year accounting student, has positive views on the new style of classroom.

“Learning in the new classroom made me realize that I was born to crunch numbers in a small office cubicle from 9-5 for the rest of my life,” Shipley said.

Shipley was pleased with how well the classroom was built to look like a realistic accounting firm and thinks the university would benefit from implementing a new style of classrooms for other majors as well.

“With how successful this classroom has been, I think it would be beneficial to change other classrooms to better prepare students for their jobs,” Shipley said. “For example, having the women’s, gender and sexuality studies classes be set in a fast-food environment to better prepare those students for their future,” Shipley said. 

Shipley also believes that getting a job after graduation will be a breeze with the experience of learning in the office-style classroom.

“It will be so easy to apply for jobs now,” Shipley said. “Do you have an accounting degree? Check. Have experience working in a small cubicle? Check. Boom, you’re hired, welcome aboard. It will be no sweat,” Shipley said. 

Some feedback on the new classrooms caused some students to drop their accounting majors, but still favor the new setup. This is the case for Steven Johnson, a third-year undecided student.

“Having class in the office-style room was a very eye-opening experience for me,” Johnson said. “Up until this semester, I was all for accounting, but after spending lots of time in a cubicle and realizing that I would be stuck in one for the rest of my life, I changed my major,” Johnson said. 

The fact that the office was so realistic is what drove Johnson to drop out of the accounting program. 

“It was hell in that classroom, and I do not want to spend the rest of my life in a cubicle,” Johnson said.

“Sadly, I’m changing my major to undecided as a junior, but I’d rather do that than continue down the path to eternal suffering,” Johnson said.

Construction on the new office-style classrooms will begin following final exams in December and be finished before the spring semester. 

Doyle can be reached at [email protected]