(Disclaimer: This article is satire and is not meant to be taken seriously. It does not reflect the views of The Spectator or UW-Eau Claire.)

Many Blugolds have been feeling burnt out these past few weeks of class. This is no surprise when they have dealt with the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, midterms and the recent polar vortex. 

Other UW System schools like UW-Green Bay and UW-Milwaukee are currently enjoying spring break, but in order to negate as many students as possible from traveling, UW-Eau Claire canceled spring break for 2021.  

The UWEC administration has noticed many Blugolds complaining about wellness and mental health issues related to the lack of spring break. 

Their response to this is an online course on Canvas to help students feel better without the need for a break.

Paula Bateman, administrative assistant, made the announcement about the class last Friday. 

“This mental health and wellness class will be required for all Blugolds this semester,” Bateman said. “The course will take over twenty hours to complete and will not award any credits on transcripts.”

Bateman clarified that students cannot simply skip the course since it has become a new graduation requirement for this academic year. 

“The UW-Eau Claire administration wanted to provide students with a way to destress and focus less on their coursework,” Bateman said. “By spending a couple hours a day doing these required modules, we think students will forget that we stole their spring break from them.” 

The course will be available on Canvas next week and will be due by May 7. 

The announcement made people across campus angry and stressed, as students found themselves with over twenty more hours of coursework to finish by finals week. 

Paul Allen, a third-year business student, was particularly upset by the new course being offered.

“The administration cannot stop me from taking a vacation to Florida this next week, but they can assign me more homework so it will be even more difficult for me to catch up,” Allen said. 

Many students like Allen are taking small or large breaks on their own time to try and make up for no spring break this year.

“It is ridiculous that they would take away a week of time from us, and then give us a week’s worth of work to do. What planet are they living on?” Allen said. 

Some students like Barbara Reed, second-year English student, worry about UW-Eau Claire’s reputation after this decision.

“Our university was the last to let us out of school when the pandemic started last year, and now they are taking away our spring break and requiring us to do worthless coursework,” Reed said. “Is anyone going to want to come to a school that does not care about the well-being and the safety of its students?”

Reed has lost all hope that UW-Eau Claire will ever think about how their decisions affect the entire student body.

“You know our school has messed up when UW-Green Bay is handling the situation better,” Reed said.  

Doyle can be reached at [email protected].