News flash to all those who need to hear it, being ditched or stood up really sucks so kindly please stop doing it.

I’m so sick of guys or friends making plans to hang out with me and then they either never respond to my text or simply just leave me on read. 

If you don’t want to hang out that’s fine with me, just tell me. I’ll be a lot less upset if you say “Hey, I can’t hang out today anymore,” or even “Hey, I’m not feeling this anymore, I don’t think we should continue to hang out.” 

But I guess that is too easy, right? 

In the past two months of being newly single, I have been ditched more times than I can count on both my hands. 

For somebody who already struggles with anxiety, it doesn’t make things better.

It just makes me overthink even more. My mind goes to “Was it something I said or did?” and more often than not, I ask myself “What’s wrong with me that they don’t want to hang out with me?” 

All my friends have my back and tell me that I don’t deserve something like that and there is nothing wrong with me. I simply just let people in too quickly. That’s my own issue though. 

The thing is I have so much to offer to somebody — whether it’s a guy or if it’s a new friend. But like Shrek once said, they judge me before they get to know me. 

That seems to happen to me a lot, again, is there something wrong with me? 

Maybe don’t answer that, I don’t want to know the answer. It’ll just mess with my mental health even more. Which is something I am trying to nourish with love and kindness. This life we are living is way too short to not work on bettering yourself, for you. 

Mental health matters. I get sad, don’t get me wrong, and as much as I don’t want to admit it when I get ditched, it hurts. 

I let it bother me for much longer than I should. I will sit there in a cozy little cocoon of blankets and think about all the things I said or did to make them not want to hang out. 

Yet, when they give me a sliver of attention, I eat it up. I shouldn’t put up with someone who is so on and off. It’s not fair to me and it sure isn’t fair to my mental health. 

Then I just get my hopes up for nothing, then I start the process of being ditched all over again. Maybe this time I will sit in the shower and let the warm water consume me until all the sadness washes away. 

I can’t be the only one who feels this way. I can guarantee that I am not. I don’t need a man to make me happy, all I need is myself. So, why do I continue to put myself in a vulnerable position to get hurt over and over?

It’s like the mind plays tricks on you, thinking you need the attention of that one person. When in reality you don’t. 

It’s time I work on my mental health, so when I graduate in spring and I go out into the real world I can be the best version of myself. 

I deserve to be undeniably happy and it all starts with my brain. 

I think too much and I need to just start living and not overthink every single thing I do. I said it once and I will say it again, this life we are living is way too short. 

Time to kick my mental health in the butt and better myself because I deserve it. We all do. 

There is nothing wrong or taboo about seeing a therapist. If you need help visit the counselors in counseling services or a trusted friend or professor. 

Geiger can be reached [email protected]