I ended a four-year relationship a little over three months ago, and during those four years, I thought I knew what I liked and didn’t when it came to love and love languages. 

There is so much more to love languages than just the five basic ones: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and receiving gifts. 

If you were to ask me a year ago what my love languages were, I can confidently say they aren’t the same as today. 

Yes, I said languages as plural. Who says you can’t have more than one? 

Physical Touch

Now, not everyone is a fan of this one. A year ago, I wasn’t either, heck even four months ago I wasn’t a fan of physical touch. I hated being touched. 

But today, I’ve learned the difference between hurtful touch and loving touch. 

Hurtful touch is a touch that pains you. It makes your skin crawl and seems as though that feeling will never go away. A lot of the time this happens after traumatic events. 

Loving touch is one that is comforting, a touch that doesn’t make you want to flinch away. This is something everyone should experience and should strive to experience for the rest of their lives. It’s special. 

Physical touch can be intimate and non-intimate — like a hug or hand-holding. 

After a lot of thought and consideration, I would consider physical touch to be one of my love languages. 

Words of Affirmation

As someone who struggles with body image and telling myself kind things, this love language has always been at the top of my list. 

Words of affirmation are words or phrases that are used to uplift, someone. 

You are lying if you say that someone calling you beautiful or handsome doesn’t make you feel good inside and out. For me, it makes me feel confident. 

Words of affirmation should be a part of everyone’s everyday life; then again, the world isn’t perfect — if it was, then I wouldn’t be writing this article. 

Tell me that you like my outfit and your comment will stick with me for the rest of the day and it’ll make me feel good. 

So, ten out of ten. This one is at the top of my list. 

Quality Time

If you are anything like me, then you like spending quality time with someone. 

No phones, no distractions, just you and I focusing on each other. That’s all that it should be. 

My best friend and I will put our phones away at night when we lay on the bean bag and watch our latest tv show obsession or a movie. This is my definition of quality time. 

I will forever stand by this one, and I think it’s important. Really, it’s the only way to get to know somebody. 

While I already have two love languages, I’m going to make it three because I love spending quality time with people. 

Acts of service

I promise you not all of these would count as my love language. But, acts of service are doing something that you know they would like. 

For instance, a guy I was talking to bought my coffee for me. It’s the little things, truly. 

I love when somebody wipes the snow off my car during the winter or fills up my gas tank. I, personally, am more of a giver than a receiver. 

Now let’s not mix acts of service up with receiving gifts. Acts of service is you giving up a small portion of your time for somebody else. 

Receiving gifts

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love receiving gifts just as much as I love giving gifts. But, it’s not something that makes my heart skip a beat. 

Receiving gifts is pretty self-explanatory, you feel love from the small gifts your partner gives you. 

If this is part of your love language, then good for you. But it’s not a part of mine. 

So, ask yourself. What is your love language(s)?

Geiger can be reached at [email protected]