Long before I was ever taught how to take care of myself, I felt as though I was an expert at taking care of other people. Now, I can’t help but roll my eyes at the parts of my girlhood that stuck around.

As a woman, there are times it feels as though the weight of the world’s expectations is being carried on my shoulders. Occasionally, it feels like I am the only one who can see or feel it.

I would be ignorant to assume that I am the only person, and especially the only woman, who feels this way. We as a gender are taught who to be, and even more so what to be, from a very early age. 

I must say that this idea applies to all people capable of reproduction, regardless of the gender in which they identify. I will say, though, that I speak from the perspective of a cisgender female who was tossed into her gender’s way of life the second her anatomy was identified.

Motherhood has supposedly always been in the cards for me, though I am beginning to think I was given the wrong hand from the deck. I grew up surrounded by family members who would start their sentences off with “when you have children” rather than “if you have children.” 

And, for the longest time, I never questioned any of it.

I look back on the way that I was raised and recognize that I grew up with parents who never pushed me toward certain beliefs or gender stereotypes intentionally. 

However, whether they realized it or not, my parents were unconsciously influencing me to follow a certain female stereotype once I got older.  

I have grown up and allowed myself to float around in the well of established gender expectations the world requires me to one day soak up.

And with the assumption that I will one day become a mother, I have found that I cannot help but look into every expectation that I once overlooked. I have begun to question the way we as women are raised.

In realizing this, I wonder what filtered suggestions caused this ideal to stick around so strongly. 

I believe one of the most prominent factors in this is what boys and girls are encouraged to play with, and more specifically, how they are taught to play. 

My older brother played with toy cars and dinosaurs, whereas I got new baby dolls every birthday. My older brother was never reminded to care for his toys, whereas I was always reminded to take care of my dolls as if they were genuinely my children. 

My brother felt no shame in ignoring his toys for a few days, while my time completely revolved around taking care of mine.

I believe  we as women are bred to become whatever society wishes. And therefore, if we grow up wanting to be something else, or something more, we are expected to feel guilty about it.

We are expected to feel guilty about not caring about what we seemed to love so much when we were children. At least, when the baby was just plastic.

I cannot go on saying all of this without recognizing that society is not, in fact, staying stagnant. I have spoken with countless others who feel the same way about the ideals we as women have so long been taught to strive for. 

And I hold the belief that society can change.

The expectations women face won’t exit society quickly. They may never entirely be shed from our lives. Together, though, swimming against the current doesn’t seem as hard. 

Braun can be reached at [email protected].