The Autism Society of Greater Wisconsin held their 36th Annual Statewide Conference at the Kalahari Convention Center from April 3-5.
My mother is a special education teacher, so she was invited to go for work. In light of recent events, she invited me to accompany her.
My plan was to attend class until 10:45 a.m. on April 3, pack my things and drive to my parents’ house. However, the weather was terrible and I heard a lot of yelling outside of my apartment, so I chose to expedite the process.
I left Eau Claire around 10 a.m. and arrived at my parents’ house around 12:30 p.m. I played their video games and ate their food until my mom got home and was ready to leave.
We left from their house and drove to the Wisconsin Dells. There was a keynote speaker and nothing else planned for Thursday night, so after the speech we checked into the hotel and took it easy.
Friday held the bulk of the conference’s events. There were breakout sessions throughout the day where attendees got to choose from a number of panels to attend.
The first session I attended was titled “Understanding the Experiences of and Language Surrounding Autism and Queerness,” hosted by Chelsea Budde and Noey Budde, a mother and child duo.
Chelsea Budde runs the website and podcast Chelsea’s Vocation, where she speaks about her experiences raising two neurodivergent children and offers resources to her community. She also gave me a pen.
Noey Budde discussed their struggles with being assigned female at birth (AFAB) and feeling gender dysphoria their whole life, and how their autism diagnosis only exacerbated their feelings of being othered.
The Buddes had an interesting perspective, and I’m glad I attended their panel. They were affable and charismatic, and genuinely seemed to enjoy discussing their experiences.
But as I stepped out of the room, a realization about the rest of the day set in. I had just spent the last hour being told things I already knew, and I had a sinking feeling that the rest of the conference was going to be similar.
Is there a term for when someone has anxiety that seems unreasonable, but it ends up being totally founded and completely correct? Because if there is, that’s how I would describe my experience.
Again, I had a good time at the conference. I met some cool people and enjoyed learning about the experiences of others. But ultimately, I don’t feel like I learned a lot.
I went to a panel about employment where they said (paraphrased), “Don’t tell them you’re autistic until after they hire you.” A lesson I’ve already learned the hard way.
I attended a presentation on autistic burnout, a phenomenon I’ve been experiencing since I was a child. They gave a lot of helpful tips for assisting autistic loved ones through burnout.
The conference, to me, felt like it was set up for people with autistic loved ones in their lives rather than for autistic people themselves.
And I admit, the problem may, in part, be me. This weekend made me realize that my parents gave me coping and life skills that I have truly taken for granted up to this point in my life.
But at the end of the day, I can’t help feeling like I went to a conference meant to help people help me instead of a conference meant to help me help myself. Everyone was well researched and had proper credentials and all that good stuff, but I wanted more.
I still think that the conference is a good event. I met people who truly had no idea how to take care of or interact with their loved ones on the spectrum, and I’m sure they got plenty out of the event. I just wish I got as much as they did out of it.
Tolbert can be reached at tolbernj7262@uwec.edu. What else should they diagnose him with?
