I am a certifiably lazy work-er out-er. 

I consider the 30 minute walk to and from campus to be, well, not good but better than nothing. Does it count as exercise if there’s a five hour break in between? 

Exercising was never a priority for me. I grew up playing sports, reluctantly, and would moan and groan my way through practices, weight training and, god forbid, runs. 

Softball and volleyball (along with brief stints in basketball and flag football) were physical activities I was forced into, and after ten years of it, I was feeling more than a little burnt out. 

But I followed through until college, a magical place where I was free to work out as little as I wanted. And I did, though I had help from a certain pandemic, too. 

When it comes to health, I subscribe to the “you are what you eat” philosophy: don’t eat junk — but if you do, eat it in moderation — drink water and all that jazz. 

I was pretty content with this regimen until a few months ago. The all-knowing TikTok algorithm read my mind and started plopping lazy-girl workout routines on my FYP. 

A-ha, I thought, now we’re talking. 

But even that was slow-going in terms of getting me motivated to even start thinking about nabbing a gym membership. On top of being a less-than-enthusiastic exerciser, I’m a cheap one, too. I know. The worst combo. 

The majority of the routines I saw involved lots of bending over, hoisting weights and thrusting hips and had names like “sumo twist lift” and “medieval torture lunge.” I was willingly lost. 

However, in these dark times a light appeared on my phone screen, and it was called the 12-3-30. 

For those who don’t know, the 12-3-30 is one of the simplest, most wonderful, booty-kicking workouts known to man. All you do is find a treadmill, set the incline to 12, the speed to three and let that bad boy go for 30 minutes. 

Seems simple enough. The reviews, though, suggested otherwise. 

I was curious. What was so impossible about a stroll on the treadmill? The universe wanted to know, too, and it was revealed to me that one of my buddies had a gym membership to the local YMCA. My time had come. 

I did it. I gave it a try. Here are my thoughts:

Yes, the 12-3-30 is harder than it looks; however, like most things when it comes to exercise, it gets easier each time. What I mean by that is, you probably will have to up the ante after three or four rounds — you might even need to upgrade to a light jog, eventually. Wild stuff, I know. 

I, personally, have yet to do so because if I incline any higher and go any faster I won’t be able to read the subtitles of the TV show I watch while working out — that’s right, another one of the wonders of the 12-3-30: You can watch TV. At. The. Same. Time. 

No wonder you people like exercising so much. 

Schutte can be reached at [email protected].