Editor’s Note: This is a satirical article and is not meant to be taken seriously. It does not reflect the opinions of The Spectator or UW-Eau Claire.
Blugold Radio Sunday and The Spectator fought in a ferocious battle in the TV-10 Studio on Thursday, Feb. 29. It was the first time in years that all three campus media groups had been in one room together and tensions were high.
Gameshow host, Magenta Hansil, had organized the night. She reached out to both organizations with the hope of creating “unity” between the groups. Hansil, alongside cohost, Rowan Handout, wanted to see unity among the three organizations.
Both organizations agreed to meet and began to build their teams. Kaddie Masper, the editor in chief of The Spectator, only wanted “the most competent” writers on her team. She first reached out to News Editor, Caden Fish. With four semesters of experience, he was the ideal candidate.
After that, Masper made a difficult decision. She chose her teammates to support her on the journey to victory. Madden Like, Traitor Bogus, and Madilyn Morris. All three had editorial experience, and as Masper described, had “potential.”Bogus was unfortunately unable to attend. This left Masper with a problem.
Meanwhile, Blugold Radio Director Khris Westland was dealing with his own struggles. No one would be able to attend, except for Westland, and his friend Braydo. He reached out to several other students, including Tree Clawlish, radio news director and staff writer for The Spectator, who agreed to attend.
Everything was set, until Westland received a text from Masper, stating “Can we have Tree?” Westland made a fatal mistake, and replied “Yes!” Without Tree, the team would be made up of two radio members and three random students he saw outside Towers Hall.
It was leap day and time to battle for the crown. The Spectator arrived early, matching in their Spectator crewnecks. Instead of discussing strategies, they made TikToks under the direction of Fish.
Blugold Radio Sunday pretended to be news anchors and read fake headlines, while TV-10 set up the equipment. TV-10 knew from the moment they walked in that this was a bad idea. After spending over an hour getting set up it was time for the game to begin.
The teams got into line, with Masper and Westand being the first to compete. With microphones in hand, the next 20 minutes would be a bloodbath. The questioning began simply, asking questions that were seen as common knowledge.
The two teams were neck and neck, with the score being 1-2 after the first three players had competed, with Blugold Radio having a slight lead. Clawlish then arrived at the podium, facing her coworker at the radio station. Westland gave a stare in her direction. With the anger of being traded taking over her, Clawlish managed to get the question right, tying the board.
It all came down to the final round. Like, a copy editor, took the podium against a friend of Blugold Radio. The two looked each other in the eyes with a level of intensity yet to be in the room. Teammates were shouting with emotion, as it all came down to this moment.
Hansil read off the final question, “what is another term for marriage that has a negative connotation?”
Like rushed to the button, and yelled, “hell.” With lots of energy in the air, an “X” appeared on the board. Like was unconsolable, defeated. Blugold Radio responded and decided to play. The question then came back to Westland, who confidently responded, “situationship.” He was left in shock as he received an “X.”
The question then went on to Braydo, who also answered incorrectly, and then again to another player. With three x’s, The Spectator had a chance to steal.
The team huddled, trying to think of what they could say. Masper turned to Hansil, and yelled, “ball and chain.” That appeared as the number one answer. The Spectator was victorious. Blugold Radio left, as the British did after the American Revolution.
The Spectator and TV-10 members made a Tiktok, to celebrate an intense battle.
Leick can be reached at [email protected].
