Editor’s Note: This is a satirical article and is not meant to be taken seriously. It does not reflect the opinions of The Spectator or UW-Eau Claire.
The council of holiday mascots are in their off-season, holding a gap from Easter until Halloween for a major celebratory event. During this time, applications are open for a new mascot to fill an open space if deemed appropriate and necessary.
During the off-season, only the Tooth Fairy, Sandman and occasionally Jack Frost are working, which allows time for applications of new celebratory mascots to be assessed and screened for a place on the council.
Some years have zero applicants because the council has not shifted in the last few centuries and applicants have no hope to join the ranks. However, a new applicant has been campaigning this year to join the council.
The Rain Frog has put in an application to be the mascot of spring showers and rain.
“There’s such a large gap after Easter where people aren’t able to celebrate, and I want to be there to give people something to look forward to,” Rain Frog said.
Rain Frog’s campaign is based around the “April showers bring May flowers” saying, promoting the historical support of rain as a cause for celebration.
Rain Frog is calling for support as an amphibian, for the importance of water and the excitement rain can bring for a blossoming spring.
Within their campaign, Rain Frog said they plan to work with the Easter Bunny often to dedicate spring as a time of blossoming and rebirth.
“The rain is essential for growth after cold winters,” Rain Frog said. “And why shouldn’t there be two spring mascots? Winter has two with Santa and that frosty guy.”
Applications will be reviewed over the next few months, with all decisions finalized by August at the latest. Certain council members have given their opinions on Rain Frog’s campaign.
“Rain Frog is coming out of nowhere and thinks they have some claim on the spring,” Easter Bunny said. “That’s my territory and if we needed another spring mascot then there would have already been one.”
Other council members have shown support for Rain Frog’s campaign.
“It’s been a while since we had a new member on the council, and I think we need some fresh ideas. We can’t keep doing the same fundraisers year after year and just rely on ‘tradition.’ We need new ideas,” Tooth Fairy said.
Applications are all due by the end of April and a decision could be made by the middle of May for applicant results depending on the amount of applicants. The decision could be made anytime over the course of the summer.
Rain Frog will be hosting fundraising events across the globe to support their campaign. One such event will be in a riverboat tour that will move down the Chippewa River until it feeds in the Mississippi and moves south, occurring April 20.
Fisher can be reached at [email protected].
