Kathlyn Hotynski

Last week people around the world enjoyed Valentine’s Day. For some, that meant spending some romantic time with a boyfriend or girlfriend. For others, it meant getting yet another reminder they are single.

Well, buck up kiddos. There is no time like the present to get back out there. Now, while I’m not Dr. Phil, he and I do have some things in common. We both have facial hair and television shows (his on daytime, mine on TV10). I figure that’s close enough, so let’s get started.

Get the Girl
First step is to find a girl. Once you’ve got a lady all picked out, it’s time to woo her. Here’s what you do:

Do: Get her attention. Let her know you’re out there. She’ll never date you if she doesn’t know you exist.

Do not: Get her attention by pulling her hair. Yes, it was your ‘go-to move’ in grade school, but it was also socially acceptable to eat bugs in grade school. Times have changed.

Do: Start out slow with the conversation. Talk about something you have in common. Listen intently (in case she quizzes you later on) and let her lead. You’ll be labeled a good conversationalist, and you barely did any work.

Do not: Try to impress her with your kill count in Halo yesterday. Do not tell her about how many beers you were able to drink this weekend before puking.

First of all, you should be slapped for thinking any of that would impress anyone. Secondly, you’re not talking to your buddies. While they may be impressed that you downed a case in less than two hours, she won’t be.

Do: Compliment her. This is a high risk-high reward area, so you must proceed with caution. Let her know that you think that she is special, but without her thinking you expect anything (a phone number, a date) in return.

Stick to some things that not everyone would notice. For example: “You have beautiful eyes,” or “You have an amazing laugh.” Try to walk the line between a feel-good compliment and a cheesy pick-up line. Be sincere about it, but don’t go over the top.

Do not: Give her a compliment that freaks her out. Remember, there is a subtle line between compliment and harassment. There are two big mistakes that guys make in this area.

First, don’t give her an overly elaborate compliment. For example, “You have beautiful eyes. They remind me of my dead grandmother.” Secondly, don’t give perverted compliments. For example, “Wow, your breasts are very symmetrical,” or “I caught a glimpse of your underwear earlier. That thong color really compliments your eyes.”

Do: Ask her out. It’s essential that you ask her to her face. Be confident and cool. You can start out slowly by meeting to get some coffee or throw caution to the wind and ask her out on a date. It’s all up to you and how things are going.

Do Not: Ask her out by Facebook. While you might think that asking her out at 3:04 a.m. on her Facebook wall is romantic, she might not feel the same way. The same goes for e-mail, phone, text message, or burning a fire on her lawn.

Get the Guy
Guys and girls are different in the approach to asking them out, but both people want to be impressed. Ladies, here is how to entice that guy.

Do: Get his attention. Just like the advice from earlier, but guys are impressed by far different things. Find common ground. If you know who’s leading the NBA’s Eastern Conference in wins, you’ll impress him. Even better, let him know you can cook. Guys love food and love people who make them food.

Do not: Get his attention by being emotional. Most of the time, crying will get you what you want (my little sisters know it works on me). Unfortunately, this is not one of those situations.

Do: Flirt with him. Hey, nothing wrong with using a classic. It is a way to let him think you’re interested, but it is still non-committal enough to make everyone feel comfortable. Do it as much or as little as needed.

Do not: Flirt inappropriately. If you want to date this guy, you don’t want to give him the wrong idea. Sure, it will put some ideas in his head, and you’ll get his attention. But touching his inner thigh while whispering in his ear might give him the wrong idea about your intentions.

Do: Be yourself. It’s clich‚ and sounds simple, but a guy will respect you a lot more for standing your ground than he will if you just agree with everything he says. And coming from a guy’s perspective, we’d rather be challenged than served to.

Do not: Be fake. Don’t just try to be what you think he wants you to be. Yes, it’ll probably get you a couple dates, but the experience will be shallow.

Well, that’s enough Dr. Phil for me today. Hope the tips work, and happy hunting!

Kelley is a senior broadcast journalism major and a columnist for The Spectator.